I know I am making a lot of changes these days, this new blog included, but I am not sure that I am ready to make this shift in my thinking, not yet at least. However, I appreciated and agree with the impetus of this article to create space for this option, specifically in the Protestant church. The author, in essence, argues that this should be viewed as a valid, healthy, supported, and even celebrated choice, for those who find God calling them to this. Moreover, from the tenor of this article, I do not think the author would imply that such a choice, or “vow” (though it would be a soft usage of that word), would necessarily be irevocable.
In November, I am co-teaching a class on singleness at my church, and am thinking of using this article in some capacity, but I thought I would do a trial run and see what thoughts people might have. The bibliography for this article has a whole list of other articles too, which, judging from their titles, I need to put on my reading list as well.
Wow, do singles really feel like they are seen as less grown-up because they don’t marry? Do you? I think of many of my single friends as quite wise and responsible. Sure, marriage brings a lot of change and death to one’s self, which is growthful, but I would also say singleness can bring similar growth (whether it is through the trials of longing for a relationship, or from investing much more deeply in other relationships-which is much more difficult when one is married). I guess, with my single friends I find that I need to explain things more. For example, why I can’t stay out as late or do things without “touching base” with Jacob, but I never feel like they are some how less grown up, and they always seem to understand. This is good to think about. I know the article had much more to say but this particular idea struck me.
Yes! My first comment, and from a favorite commenter.
Do I as a single person feel less grown-up? Do others? I do at times and I suspect that others do to. However, I think that this is largely a self-imposed choice and mindset. I sometimes feel this way because I have not bought a house, I do not have children, my father is still generally self-sufficient. I am not a free agent, but do have a degree of freedom that I would not if any of these things were not true. And, I do not have someone to whom I am intimately beholden. That all makes for at least the possissibiltiy of responsible irresponsibility, if you know what I mean.
I think getting married just has a tendency of bringing these responsibilities on one more quickly for some obvious reasons, though not all automatically apply to all married people and the parent-care privilege is one we all share in.
I have been fromulating a response that in significant ways married folk are heroic, in that they face challenges that sometimes make me feel a little knock-kneed as I ponder them just now. Now, I think it is true that most heroes don’t choose the heroic adventure nor even know what it might involve, or they may not choose it, and perhaps that might apply to married folk and parents too, but the heroism is still valid. Perhaps, us single folk have opportunities to be heroic in different ways, too.
And, once again, we are back at the Frodo or Samwise metaphor 🙂
I meant to say “formulating a thought” not “response.”
no more dassler at stlouisblogs, my world is changing so much, i don’t know what to do! great post and comments. i’m interested to hear how the class goes in November.
i would agree that sometimes i feel less grown up than my married friends, but just seeing heidi’s surprise reminds me that this is likely a self imposed mindset for me too. neil how do you managed to bring so many things back to Lord of the Rings? 🙂